Coffee Humour

Procaffeinating – Definition Corrected and Expounded

You may have seen this most excellent image floating around the webs:


I thought it was pure genius and if I had the energy or time, I’d probably track down the source and give them credits but that kind of work is for previous generations.

Also, I couldn’t find any detailed expounding on this new and most excellent word.

Also, the entry above is incorrect….

So let’s correct it and expound it, shall we?

In this form above, it’s either a verb (v.) or an adjective (adj.), but it’s definitely not a noun (n.).

As an adjective (adj.), it could be used perhaps in the following examples:

  1. Bob is a procaffeinating individual.
  2. This truly was a procaffeinating experience.

As you may have agreed, both of those examples suck like a vacuum.

As a verb (v.), obviously, it works well:

  1. Enough procaffeinating, Bob, and step away from the french press.  We failed to deliver product to this client and we need to call them and apologize.
  2. Jim, you are 15 minutes late to our Monday morning sales meeting.  You can’t procaffeinate this forever.

Now, the original author was partially correct.  It could have been used as a noun (n.) quite well, such as in any of the following scenarios:

  1. Our Vice President of Sales is running 20 minutes behind as a result of a nasty case of procaffeination, but has assured us that he will be here shortly.
  2. Roger is not only a slacker and a slob, but also a full-blown procaffeinator.


alternative spellings:  procaffinating, procaffination, procaffinate, procaffinator,