I happened to read an ‘injection reminder’ notice today that came to a cell phone.
Someone in the BC goverment is a twisted and pretty-darn-good marketing person. The style of this writing is creepy. It’s not just informative. Informative would involve just sending you the information without any persuasion and leaving the decision to you neutrally. That is definitely not what’s going on here if you have any experience in marketing. Let’s tear it apart. Here is the template first:
NAME, this is a reminder that your third dose COVID-19 vaccine is waiting for you.
Book your appointment now: (link to booking here) – it’s fast and easy.
If you need to make an appointment during your workday, by law you can take up to 3 hours of paid leave for your appointment: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/employment-business/employment-standards-advice/employment-standards/time-off/taking-unexpected-time-off#pay.
If you’d like to talk to someone about booking an appointment, call 1-833-838-2323.
If you have already booked an appointment, you don’t need to book another one.
Learn more about getting vaccinated: https://www.gov.bc.ca/getvaccinated
Get translated information: https://www.gov.bc.ca/getvaccinated#translations
Notice they put your name in CAPS? That’s because you are important. You are special. Your name is you. We care about you enough to make your name HUGE!
your third dose COVID-19 vaccine is waiting for you.
Remember the lines that are used to seduce men to into pornography, dating websites, or worse? As much as I don’t want to even type this, I feel I have to for the example: “Call 1-900-555-DATE – Beautiful lonely girls are waiting for you right now, Wayne. Just pick up the phone and call! ” This ‘waiting for you’ line is just the epidemie of seduction technques in marketing.
“It’s fast and easy.”
caters to the busy person. No headaches. Don’t think . Just click. All your needs will be met instantly. Your problems will go away – fast and easy.
“by law you can take up to 3 hours of paid leave…”
Don’t worry about your boss who is paying for you. Don’t worry about the other employees who will have to pick up the slack. This is a long coffee break! And the government is going to make sure you get paid, and your boss punished if they dare say no. Go, go go!
“If you’d like to talk to someone…”
In case the first, fast, easy web link wasn’t good enough to get your hot blonde, and perhaps you are too old and don’t trust these links, you can phone us and get a real, paid, employeed government employee who will book it! No hindrance to this sale. We will give you every possible form of technology to close the deal!
“Learn more about getting vaccinated”
Still suffering from that dreaded ‘vaccine hesitancy” label that we like to slap on people through mainstream media? Don’t have the obedience to just book your shot? Ok, fine. Go read our version of the virus story here at this link so that your intellectual side will line up with our sales and marketing team because there are always those kind of buyers who want a bit more information about the car and its specs before buying it. Don’t question that information, by the way. It’s the government.
“Get Translated Info”
Oh, and if you thought you could avoid all this sales stuff we’re doing here because you don’t understand it? Don’t worry. We’ll hit you in every mother tongue on this broad earth.
So yeah. What are you waiting for?
But wait… my eastern european contact just said “The only free cheese is in the mousetrap…”