Five Reasons Why I Already Hate My Iproduct

Originally posted at www.blenzseymour.com, Sat, 07/16/2011 – 23:47

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I avoided Apple for a long time.  A very long time.  While everyone was running around snapping up their expensive, locked-down hardware for extreme prices, I enjoyed more open items like Ubuntu operating systems and Android mobile devices.

However, we didn’t have a touch device for home, more specifically, for my wife who periodically wishes to distract our daughter with it.  During a marriage-altering blowup, my precious throws in her lack of an IPhone or IPod Touch (or my vehement opposition to its purchase) as one reason why I suck.  So, I decide to give my blessings towards the purchase of an Ipod Touch because at least we won’t be stuck on some wackage-package from a cell provider…

My woes didn’t take long to surface.  Here they are as I discovered them:

1. You cannot expand the storage memory at all!  Like.. no SD slot.  Nothing.  Further, there isn’t a micro USB input! Could you be any more lame?

2. No wall, 110V outlet power charger.  Just the USB charger.  I would love to charge for 5 times longer than necessary so please make sure to not include that in the box.  🙁

3. They force you to synchronize with Itunes!!!  Like… you can’t seem to move files back and forth without the installation of Itunes.  I accepted that, but then I found out the real doozy – you can’t put Itunes on Linux!!  Now I’m just fuming.  Not only do they lock you out, but they also lock you in!  It’s like the jail of jails.  You Apple to get in, and you need Apple (or Windows) to get out.  So lame.  So, so, lame.

4. When I finally got Itunes downloaded and ready to install on my virtual machine in Ubuntu, I discovered yet another thing that sucks – Itunes is one of the biggest most annoying programs I have ever installed!  It took me like five years to finally get it installed. I think I saw 4 million registry files being edited 🙁

5. Now that you finally have your precious and highly-proprietary Itunes installed on your Windows (or Mac)(but not any other OS) system, you’ll be pleased to know that the pain is only just beginning.  Now you have to become an Apple-Man and get yourself a IAccount.  This requires submitting pretty much everything about yourself to Apple headquarters.  Apple finalized the deal, after getting all that info from me, with a request for a credit card or some kind of payment information.  I assumed that you’d probably have to submit this even if you wanted free apps because they probably have a payment-portal system set up regardless of whether it’s free or not.  I’ll find out about that soon.

So, my first two hours of Apple have been poop-lame-sucky. I hope the actual use of this device makes me forget how black my soul got this evening 🙁

PS. Any of you who think this was all ‘ok’ should seriously check yourselves in. I’m here to tell you that THERE IS A BETTER WAY.  Make your next device NOT Apple even if it’s just for the stuff I blogged.

And three more un-smilies for the road 🙁 🙁 🙁