Categories
Business Faith Life Skills

When to Fight and When to Fold ’em

I’m not a fighter.

If someone were to attack me I would just curl up in a ball and try to protect my vital organs.  I tried Tae Kwon Do to remedy that back in high school but I still find it easier to curl up in a ball.  I’m not lazy, but I just figure even dirtbags would feel dirty if they were kicking a helpless man curled up in a ball and may stop sooner than wasting more time provoking them.  I never won arm wrestles either which was embarrassing, especially in front of girls and even worse when I was the one challenging someone.

I’m not a fighter – physically.

I learned early that the battles of this world are not fought physically but that there was a greater force at work that I could not explain.  First of all, why were they kicking me in the first place?

Let us turn for a second study someone who knows more about this topic than anyone else – God Almighty – Jesus the Lord.

One of the greatest battles of history (I almost typed ‘Epic Rap Battles of History… go to Youtube to figure out why that’s funny in a bad way’) was when Jesus defeated Satan on the earth in Round 1 in the book of Matthew chapter  4.  Here Satan tries to make Jesus fold ’em and take the bait with the hook.  Note that Satan didn’t sucker punch Jesus or beat him like a rented mule when no one was looking.  He leaves that kind of buffoon work for his underlings.  He used words.  He cut right to the core of the human vulnerabilities and used manipulation skills in an attempt to achieve his nefarious goals .

And that’s the battle we face.  Words and manipulation for selfish gain.

So our battles are, at the core, battles of the words (not much unlike Epic Rap Battles of History…. I really gotta stop promoting these guys but it’s hard)

Good manipulators don’t put anything in writing.

Companies hesitate to put in writing anything other than that which will benefit them.  I told my mom to call up her ISP and try to get a new modem and a better rate.  I told her to get them to email the quote to her and then she could forward it to me for approval.  When I asked her for the quote later that day she said, ‘They weren’t allowed to put it in writing but they gave me a faster download speed and bundled something with it.”  Not surprised I then asked, “And the new modem?”  She informed me that the company ‘doesn’t have new modems like the one she has but only modem routers’.  Gimme a break.  She ended up with a plan that will save her a bit of money now but, at the end of the fine print (and there is always fine print) she will likely pay more.

Lawyers know this, too. They are Wordsters.  They can word you into certain death or they can word you right out of a mess. They can outword anyone and using a language that only they know.

With that preface, now that we agree the battles are with words, what battles should we fight and which ones should we pass up?

I believe that if your battle is for selfish gain you won’t have any long term joy from the victory.  If your battle is just simply to take someone down that you will spend your energy and time and even when you are done, you won’t have made any great significance in the world.

If your battle is to pave the way for helping others in the same boat as you, and your victory will not only help yourself but many who come after you, then you must fight.  You cannot avoid your duty to put on the verbal gloves and wordcraft your way to victory.  So what do two examples look like?

The classic example of a battle not worth fighting is the divorce battle.  Obviously I’m completely against divorce from the get-go, but for those who have chosen this path, read on.  The sick stories that I’ve heard related to one ex trying to destroy the other ex seem like they are from a twisted Hollywood movie.  The only people who win in these stories are the lawyers.  And I’m not talking about a ‘fair divorce’ (if such a thing were possible) where both sides divvy up the bounty.  I’m talking about divorcing but then going that extra step to make sure there is salt in the other person’s wound.  Forget it! Move on.  Seek God and He will heal your heart, not auctioning off your ex’s motorcycle for a dollar.

I’m not saying that I agree completely with where many unions seem to have gone in the last few decades, but I think they are a good example of a battle that was worth fighting.  Unions formed because companies were abusing people.  Companies that have only their own selfish gain in mind are still very much present and, oh yes, right here in Canada, right here in Vancouver.  Unions used peaceful demonstrations, and words of negotiations.  No punching (well I’m sure a few angry union dudes lost their cool).  No beating of rented mules.

So, I recommend using a basic gauge for your battle.  Will others benefit from your battle?  Will you be helping others beside yourself?

If the answer is ‘yes’ then by all means go down fighting and die trying if you must.  Take a round-house kick to the head for the team.  Curl up in a ball and let them boot-smack you.

But if you are the only ‘winner’ in the battle, pack up, fold the cards and move on – your battle is in vain.