Flat Earth, Humour


I’m one of those people who just can’t find time or care to participate in popular news. So what I do is I go to duckduckgo.com once in a while and scan the headlines. Since Covid19 arrived I’ve been unable to toss the thought that there seems to be a qualified marketing firm behind it. People are ‘talking the talk’ like I’ve never witnessed. I thought I would do a play-by-play commentary on my observations just for the records because others around me have indicated interest. If I miss any, be sure to throw them in the comments!

Note, these are not in preference, chronological or any other order

1. “Pandemic”

My comments here are that the official word for the ‘covid stuff’ is “pandemic”. If you look up the etymology of the word it states this:

of diseases, “incident to a whole people or region,” 1660s, from Late Latin pandemus, from Greek pandemos “pertaining to all people; public, common,” from pan- “all” (see pan-) + dēmos “people” (see demotic).

Not so bad, right? Sounds appropriate.

However…the disturbing part is if you look up the ‘demotic’ part which forms the ‘demic’ of ‘pandemic’ which states (my emphasis added):

“…of or belonging to the people,” especially “pertaining to the common people, popular, vulgar,” 1822, from Latinized form of Greek dēmotikos “of or for the common people, in common use,” from dēmos “common people,” originally “district,”…

Sadly, it does appear that that is exactly what this is: A disease that affects negatively, mainly, the commoners.

I’m feeling like Musk, Gates, and such folk have a pretty good social distancing setup and clean bubble going on but who’s to judge?

2. “Unprecedented Times”

No question, these are unprecendented times. Never before have we been forced into lockdowns, told who we can hang out with, told when we have to go home, told which business can open or close, and whether or not school should be on – because of a virus. However, there have been many unprecedented times in the past, please note.

3. “Social Distancing”

This is the old, stale term that came out when the marketing firm ( ‘Firm’ from hereon in) first rolled out their terminology. They were just getting their feet wet in marketing. The forgot that people really liked socializing and didn’t realize this term would sound negative…

4. “Physical Distancing”

This is the new, fresh term to replace the old, stale ‘social distancing’ term. By using this term you can make the people think that they are socializing while never getting close enough to shake a hand, give a hug, or other such dirty human activity – whist covering most of their faces. “Hey Bob! Look at those guys in masks trying to socialize from 2 meters apart!”

5. “Stay Home. Stay Safe.”

By far this was the worst of the Firm’s marketing work. For sure a 5 year old could have done a better job. Everyone knows many homes are not safe. But let’s say all family members were wonderful people and not abusive, 75% of all 160,000 deaths in the USA happened in accidents at the home. Stay home, sure. But drop the ‘safe’. That’s false advertising on the highest level.

6. “We’re In This Together”

Did I say the worst was “Stay Home, Stay Safe”? Sorry, I meant this one is the worst…
This one is a very interesting blend of ‘cheesy’ with ‘psychotic murderer’. Whenever I hear this one I don’t know whether to expect a 1930’s crooner to start singing a love song, or Freddy Krueger to jump out.

7. “The New Normal”

This one is a close second for worst with the two above as my top worst.
“Normal” by nature is a subjective term. “What is normal?” If you asked anyone this before the Covidities, they would instantly say they didn’t know. Normal, if there was one, was dissolved long before Covid came ’round. So to throw the adjective ‘New” in front of it just sounds really sad. That’s like saying “New Awesome” or “New Delicious!” “New Painful”… Seriously the Director of Marketing at the Firm should have been let go at this point…

8. “Invisible Enemy”

I like this one. This really gets you scared and hiding. Even Freddy Krueger isn’t invisible. shivers

9. “Flatten the Curve”

I couldn’t help but think of cosmology and the shape of the earth here…

10. “Uptick”

Usually used for stocks. Now used for virus counts. Good cross-branding borrowing!

11. Anti-Maskers

A very effective term to demonize a group of people who tried to claim their right to not wear a certain form of clothing that they believed degraded their health. By putting the word ‘anti’ in front (like Anti-abortionist) you have an immediate label to categorize someone. The repeated use of the word ‘anti’ says, ‘This person is against the normal”

12. “In These Challenging Times”

I like this one because it makes you sound like a president doing a fireside chat. You can really put on that soothing voice and speak to the people… “In these challenging times, people, we need to kiss with our masks on…”

13. “In These Pandemic Times”

This is a boring version of “In These Challenging Times” because they put a more objective word ‘pandemic’ in there. I guess someone noticed that some folks like Amazon that the pandemic isn’t challenging me actually helping…

I hope you liked the list and if any got missed, fire them in the comments!

Tagged , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *