I know the title of this blog post is pretty strong, but it’s the truth. As I get older the burning desire inside of me for truth has been further fueled.
At about the age of 11 I had my first exposure to pornography when I found a magazine under a bush near my house. The very depths of my being knew (without having been taught, please note) that it was wrong and very dark. Yet I was drawn to it like a moth to a headlight. Everything in my heart knew it was wrong and I should run but everything in my flesh pulled me back.
My flesh won.
From that point I was a captive and a slave for the rest of my life until just a few years ago when I enrolled in a course called Setting Captives Free.
From that point, I would never look at females the same and I would never be fully free in my mind, heart, conscience or otherwise.
Pornography is a very secretive and dark sin that thrives in the dark like mould on a wall. The only solution to the problem is light. Like mould, it continues to grow and worsen in the dark until the problem has reached an epidemic and ultimately sickness and death follows.
“Death? Oh, Wayne-Out-There, you are too extreme! It’s just porn. All guys do it a little. As long as you don’t touch it’s ok. It’s a release! It improves sexual creativity, blah blah blah blah blah blah”
No. You know I’m right and you’re in full blown denial, just like I was. I totally understand you, but you are rejecting the truth and choosing death over life.
Sickness is the first sign of impending death. Your mind becomes sick. What made you full yesterday isn’t enough today. You need more excitement, more extremism, more depravity, more, more, more. Your flesh will not leave you alone. You become a lustful person – a person full of lust. You have to fight your mind and tell it to behave because it no longer obeys any form of normal. It is now sick (and twisted). What was wrong yesterday is ‘somewhat wrong’ today. What was unacceptable before, is ‘not the worst thing’.
You have become sick and death is coming soon.
First comes the death of your relationships. You become angry because you are fully aware of how your adulterous and twisted mind is. Peace departs from you and rarely returns. If there was intimacy in your marriage, it quickly fades and disappears because no spouse could compete with the speed of evil streaming through your internet connection.
Once your marriage is dead, you may see the death of your job, dreams, relationships with children and more.
It’s all one big ugly package and it was planted by that one seed of wickedness that was planted in my mind at 11.
But I’m free now, by the grace of God and the work of the volunteers at Setting Captives Free, and I would not trade this new found freedom for all the coffee in Peru.
Today could be the first day on your long road to freedom.
There is hope. If you can’t trust yourself (I was in this condition), trust *me*.