Tag: humour

God’s Slow-then-Quick (STQ) Style

I know.  The title sounds like a Kung Fu special move.  Well, it’s not.

First, watch this to get in the mood:

I’ve noticed the Lord God, being the God that He is has a certain ‘style’.  It seems somewhat disrespectful to say the Lord has ‘style’ but I can’t think of a better way to explain it.  He does certain things a certain way more than once in the Bible and one of them in particular caught my attention.

I was reading about brother Joseph who ended up in the slammer for a really long time for trying to do the right thing.  I mean, he avoided being trapped in adultery (or even the appearance of it) by fleeing the scene and ended up getting imprisoned for a false accusation.  Not cool at all.

But the drama continued.  One day the ol’ Baker, Cup Bearer and the Candlestick Maker (ok the last guy wasn’t there) show up in jail.  Brother Joe correctly interprets their dreams and the Cup Bearer is free to go and promised to promote Joseph to Pharaoh.  No dice.  The Cupster forgets.  And Joseph gets the joy of spending yet more time in the slammer for the same crime he didn’t commit. Very, very uncool.

I was thinking about how much bitterness towards God could have filled his heart and about how many hours he must have spent in sadness and depression over his never-ending jail sentence.

But then it happened.  He was probably sitting there zoned out staring at the wall thinking about how much he wished he could get out of his hopeless life when it happened (underline added):

Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved [himself], and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh. (Genesis 41:14)

I picture the episode looking somewhat like this:

The servants of Pharaoh storm in, yell for him, find him, drag him full speed upstairs, throw him in the bathtub, drag him while he’s still buttoning up his last button and toss him in front of Pharaoh where he promptly interprets his dream and becomes Pharaoh’s right hand man.  Just like that.  Boom.  Done.

Real slow…

SLOW

slow_golfer

then a lot of quick..

QUICK

quick_old_golfer

But that wasn’t the only example of the STQ style.

Right after Joseph we see it again when the entire Hebrew Krew get stuck in Egypt as slaves for over 60 years.  This is real slow if you were wondering.

SLOW

slow_golfer

Then, Moses shows up out of nowhere and over the course of a relative blink of an eye this happens:

And thus shall ye eat it; [with] your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it [is] the LORD’S passover. (Exodus 12:11)

Not even time to pack a lunch or shut off the gas valve or turn down the hot water tank and the Lord has them driven out of slavery and out of the land of slavery.

QUICK

quick_old_golfer

Get my point? That’s the STQ style.

I have not done an in depth study on this, but what I expect to find out in my own life and through the experience of others is that the ‘slow times’ make us aware that the fast thing is from the Lord.  Perhaps if the slow wasn’t slow enough, we wouldn’t appreciate the fast deliverance?  I’m not sure.

But what I do know is that the Lord definitely has the STQ style…

Please reply in the comments to add more biblical examples of the STQ style.

 

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What Message Does Your Email Address Send About You?

I have come back to this awesome comic for nearly 10 years now.  I finally had to log it here because it’s worthy.

I will eventually expand this to other areas of tech, but for now enjoy this!

 

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Pronouncing Ubuntu Correctly Matters.

Mr. Joey Sneddon,

I don’t know you and I’m sure you are a really nice guy (you seem nice in some youtube videos) and that you mean well and probably think you are helping Ubuntu, however, you published this article called how to pronounce Ubuntu which I think is damaging to the Ubuntu project.

I’m not sure if you read my article on the same topic that I wrote about three years ago, but if not, here it is for you:

HOW TO PRONOUNCE THE WORD UBUNTU

Could you imagine if someone walked up and said I’m running ‘iose’ on my ‘iphonay’? (iOS/iphone)

The person who spoke such pronunciation would display that they are *not* in the community of participants.  They are clearly an outsider of the group.

So how you say the word *does* matter and saying it differently does *not* help unify the project.

And, as a final point of irony, apparently when I said your last name I pronounced it ‘Snay-don’ which someone said is incorrect.

I told them it doesn’t matter and I can just say it however I like.

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Time to End the Weak Christianese

Something happened today.  I got an email from someone I know who in normal times doesn’t not freely speak of God or His word.  When in person it would be a rare occasion to talk about the riches of the Bible or what God is doing in our lives.  Then, randomly I got this well-meaning email forward from here which necessitated a ‘holy rant’:

* Hi Lord, it’s me.* *We are getting older and things are getting bad here.* * Gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high.* * I know some have taken you out of our schools, government, veteran’s funerals, and even* *Christmas. But Lord I’m asking you to come back* *and re-bless Canada. We really need you!* *There are more of us who want you than those who don’t!* * Thank You Lord,* *I Love you.* * ** * * “Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil – it has no point.”*

Let’s begin, shall we.  “Hi, Lord it’s me”????  Nice intro!  I can just imagine the omnipotent all-knowing Creator turning around and saying ‘Woah!  You really crept up on me there!  Whassup, kid?”

I have a strong hunch God knew it was you speaking…  but here is the actual copy and paste reply to the email:

Hi!

i don’t want to seem like a downer, but, these kind of messages show that the person doesn’t know the Jesus of the Bible:

1. Jesus was never in Christmas (refer to our age old chat). He was stuck onto a pagan holiday by people who liked the celebration of their days.

2. why should a god that people don’t care about be stuck in school? Should we force people to love Him? Jesus didn’t do that to me. He waited patiently for me, paved the way and then ran to me when I repented. I am partially on the seat on this topic but I lean much more content to separate the secular from the Holy. I don’t want my God mixed up in the ugliness of the thing they now call education. Thank God Jesus isn’t in that mess. The solution, by the way, is that so many people meet Jesus that everyone wants Bible study all day at school! Now that I can believe for!

3. government?? serious? When has Jesus ever been glorified in government? There have been believers in government. The Israel of the old testament was a different case and requires much time to expound on why, but since then and the resurrection of Jesus I can’t see how the truth of God’s word would be tolerated by a group of people who hate Him….

4. veterans? that’s a totally different topic. that brings up the mennonites and the other bible believers who decided that it’s not ok to kill people for their government anymore. but I’ll sit on the fence on this one. I also might take up arms against wicked men…

5. prices and monetary system:

a) God told us inflation would reach an epidemic level before his return in the book of Revelation:

6And I heard a voice from among the four living beings say, “A loaf of wheat bread or three loaves of barley will cost a day’s pay. And don’t waste the olive oil and wine.

b) he also said don’t worry about stuff in earth where rust and moth are going to destroy them anyways. He gives food to the birds and behold! I have a gut.

c) no jobs? I’ve got a good idea Start a business and make jobs. Problem solved. And that’s also in the Bible where Paul made tents to support his preaching addiction.

d) ‘there are more of us that want You than those who don’t’??? That’s totally, completely – FALSE. It always has been, and it always will be. Here is the scripture:

The Narrow Gate (Luke 13:22-30)

13Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and **many** there be which go in thereat: 14Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and **few** there be that find it.

FEW will ever meet Jesus and go to heaven.

MANY will walk down the nice comfy road of the five senses that leads to the fiery (and eternal) pit of hell.

I don’t doubt that this person is trying to love Jesus, but Jesus *is* the word of God. It’s because of mamby-pamby ‘christianese’ like these emails that people think that this is all the body of Christ has to offer our world:  A weak commentary on how bad the world is.

Great news! The world is the single best place I have ever set my feet and each day I awake I couldn’t think of another place or life I’d rather live. If they read the Bible they would quickly see the real Jesus and their hearts would melt within themselves (like what happened to my wife recentlY) and turn from their cold-hearted and wicked ways.

These *are* the last days. And even if they *aren’t* the last days, they could very well be *my* last days. By His grace i’M standing today and by his grace I breath.

a mighty fire has been kindled in my heart towards the Great God Jehovah and his son Jesus and my Comforter the Holy Spirit of God.

I will have not less than the real deal.

I will walk the narrow path.

End hard preaching.

Oh, by the way, I write this all in love. If it didn’t truly ignite something inside of me I wouldn’t have spent the time writing it. These kind of ‘christians’ are spreading a really lame gospel because they haven’t opened their Bibles. Thanks! This email cemented lots of cool stuff inside of me as well.

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Lucky Cat Gits No Respect!

 

And check this out!  I told you! I told you!  Now Lucky Cat gets reduced. 

 

lucky-cat-reduced

 

LUCKY CAT GITS NO RESPECT!

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The Sunny Shores of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: I never knew this place existed.  I never knew it was real.  And now that I know, there is nothing I can do about it because I could never say it or spell it.

This guy, however, should be given some kind of award:

I was also thinking about how cool it would look on a Canadian letter mailed.

Wayne Out There

#12 – 1551 53rd Street,

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, BC

Canada

Update: Thanks Debbie for this link of the Global News people trying their best to say it on the air

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HAHA While I LOL in Your General Direction

Finally useful information from the Facial Literature company.

The first time I saw ‘lol’ it was from a grown male and I was very sure it was an abbreviation for ‘lots of love’.  It was quite bothersome when he did it a few times during a seemingly normal conversation.  I later found out it means ‘laugh out loud’ or something.

Then I realized that over 94% of the time I wrote LOL that I wasn’t even laughing, let alone ‘out loud’.

I always knew that LOL sucked but here is the data from Vator to back up the feeling.

 

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Men are Not Women and Vice Versa

I was on this very cool blog by some brother called the BalylyBlog and came across the most recent post.

If you were ever trying to see a visual presentation of why men and women are not even from the same planet, this video is the one.

I was torn as to whether to get upset or laugh.  Both feelings rose up inside of me.

I chose to laugh because man – life is funny!

Enjoy!

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The Truth About Purebred Dogs – And Humans

Awesome.  I love this video for so many reasons.  The irony is that the guy who sent it to me has two ‘purebred’ dogs.

I’ve been thinking about this topic a while as it pertains to humans.  This gets pretty controversial pretty fast, but it just made me think about a comment someone I know said.  Here is my best recollection of the situation and quote:

“Do you see that ugly Asian girl?  Do you see that ugly fat white guy with her?  Take a good look at that married couple.  Now, take a look at their kids.  They’re beautiful!  See??? Two wrongs *DO* make a right!”

I am unable to comment as to whether or not I fell on the ground belly-laughing or not at this heartless and insulting comment, but I can certainly comment that I’ve noted the trend he’s talking about.  In our case, my Korean wife is pretty, but I’m relatively white – and ugly – and hairy, too.  And sometimes I even stink.  Yet both of our daughters turned out beautiful.  Hmm…

It also made me think back on the infamous Hitler who was attempting to create a ‘purebred’ race and how his plan was further failed from the get-go.

All this important philosophy from a well produced You Tube video on dogs!

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Two Classic Highly Intelligent and Humourous Comedic Acts

Sometimes I review these to help me realize that some things old are much better than new. I guess back then people had brains when they used humour?

Johnny Carson as Ronald Reagan

Abbott & Costello Who’s on First

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